finalz is next week!!!is time to put ur lfie on the line to achieve ur goals....had beeeeenn so bzzz...wif assignments and projects and all at the last minute...haha!lucky everytin finally ended on friday which was yesterday!wanna thank si panda 4 helping me wif the video 4 my project...
this is the video i made...sorry 4 the blur font colours in the beginning...i did it the 1st time...din noe the quality will be so bad at youtube...
i wanted to put the Dissidia Version-To Zanarkand.....but it's too short...so i changed...aizz...i really love this piece of music.....can sum1 teach me play on the piano???pretty plsssss......i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really wan to learn to play this piece of music on the piano.....................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!
taken this from my fren's blog aka mister kelv....
and i have yet to receive news from AirAsia...perhaps this could only be a dream...haha....i've never been lucky in my life.....it's just never meant to be.....well...i guess my life just has to go on as it is now....finalz luu....though life's a bit sad nowadayz....i'm sure...there'll be things to look 4ward to the future....hmm.....i'm sure there is 1 now too...i'm sure....good luck 2 every1 for finalz....all the best n hav fun.....peace^^...time to study again....T.T
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
hmmpphh.....
just submitted my application unto airasia yesterday....hopefully everytin turns out ok.....aizzz.....almost couldn't submit coz of kmc....luckily manage to connect into the server in the utmost last minute.....
yesterday was also my numec test.....the only test in which i am confident i could score 100....lolx...but turns out in the end...i'm just not 1 to get 100....lolx.....stupid silly mistakes....gosh!!darn ittttt!!!!
finalz is coming along.....feel liek i dun have enuf time to study.....just feel so heavy......so.....aizzz......thinking bout wat would happen in my future....i really dunno......i can't c a damn thing......oh...haha yesterday when i was chatting wif yap afta mcd yesterday....lolx....i decided to make myself a beta person...:P....dat is to cut alllllllll the dumb foul words coming out from my mouth.....it's not exactly dat i speak much of those but i do at times.....n dat is wat's gonna be cut off!!
looking back at my past.....i feel so funny....haha....really all the silly things i did.....nah it's just suddenly reminisce about the past......oh well....hahaha.....notin much to write oso leh....everytin's over.....it's the end of another sem....so soon....and tis past so much time......signals test on tuesday.....beta jia you 4 it n finalz too......wish all my frenz good luckz and all the best in finalz....
yesterday was also my numec test.....the only test in which i am confident i could score 100....lolx...but turns out in the end...i'm just not 1 to get 100....lolx.....stupid silly mistakes....gosh!!darn ittttt!!!!
finalz is coming along.....feel liek i dun have enuf time to study.....just feel so heavy......so.....aizzz......thinking bout wat would happen in my future....i really dunno......i can't c a damn thing......oh...haha yesterday when i was chatting wif yap afta mcd yesterday....lolx....i decided to make myself a beta person...:P....dat is to cut alllllllll the dumb foul words coming out from my mouth.....it's not exactly dat i speak much of those but i do at times.....n dat is wat's gonna be cut off!!
looking back at my past.....i feel so funny....haha....really all the silly things i did.....nah it's just suddenly reminisce about the past......oh well....hahaha.....notin much to write oso leh....everytin's over.....it's the end of another sem....so soon....and tis past so much time......signals test on tuesday.....beta jia you 4 it n finalz too......wish all my frenz good luckz and all the best in finalz....
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Watt's Going On...?
The 3rd Watt's Performance Night has just ended!result?well i guess we faired pretty well.....many thanks to the people involved in realizing this event and oso to the audiences as well!!To those who hav no idea or watsoeva about it,it's an event where it is made for the music bands in my uni to perform their self-composed music....It turned out pretty well....Most of us was surprise to c many a big crowd of ppl overflowing into the DSS hall.....quantity wise,i guess it's very successful!!My last event to be made along wif my frens,i feel much accomplished....havin been a part of such a great event.....of course it's not all too perfect....but 4 being 1st timers....it's pretty darn good already...:P
In the making of this event,> 3 months had we started the preps.....n now.....the event itself is over.....time flies by so fast.....i can still remember when we had just our 1st meeting....n all of a sudden we're already at the hall itself....witnessing wat i can say 4 now....1 of the biggest event in Uniten....i'm just grateful dat everytin turns out well.....there had been struggles and obstacles especially when the clock was ticking fast towards the date of the event....sumhow everything was managed well enuf!!hearing compliments such as 'u guyz hav a very good management team!' was very pleasing to our ears...:P...hmmm!more so when it was from the TNC himself,kak sya and encik arrifin!!well...so far i've heard more positive feedback den negative ones....but i'm sure there's plenty of negative remarks and so i heard.....but wat's most important is we did our best!!n we ain't perfect no matter how....!!just thankful and grateful dat all the teams did their part very well!!till sumtimes i felt not too useful myself....hahahaha.....pls do 4giv me though.....if i had ever done anytin wrong or offended any1!!
this will serve as a very good memory 4 me.....the bands were great....everytin ran quite smoothly.....the dance and all......just awesome..!!even afta all the events dat i hav been part of....none seem to be able to fill me as much as this does......i'm sure every1 of us,despite being overly-busy and slacking on studies due to the making of this event especially the committes,i'm sure every1 feels good about this event!!will be putting up pics on the event later when i receive them....plus my 1st time wearing formal+blazer....lolx....i feel so stupid....hahahaha......so wierdo.....but it's all a very good experience!!i feel myself more 'changed'!!in a beta way.....
kinda miss it leh......ended already....haha......feel so 'freeeeeee' but more bz now.....coz many many many assignments to do and studies to catch up.....finalz is coming soon.....i need to brush myself up and get ready......brace the future!!!Thx every1 for giving me sucha good experience!!and to my frens thx for coming to support us!!i hope u all really realllly enjoyed it!!!time to go back to monotonous dull study life.........aizzz........T.T~~
In the making of this event,> 3 months had we started the preps.....n now.....the event itself is over.....time flies by so fast.....i can still remember when we had just our 1st meeting....n all of a sudden we're already at the hall itself....witnessing wat i can say 4 now....1 of the biggest event in Uniten....i'm just grateful dat everytin turns out well.....there had been struggles and obstacles especially when the clock was ticking fast towards the date of the event....sumhow everything was managed well enuf!!hearing compliments such as 'u guyz hav a very good management team!' was very pleasing to our ears...:P...hmmm!more so when it was from the TNC himself,kak sya and encik arrifin!!well...so far i've heard more positive feedback den negative ones....but i'm sure there's plenty of negative remarks and so i heard.....but wat's most important is we did our best!!n we ain't perfect no matter how....!!just thankful and grateful dat all the teams did their part very well!!till sumtimes i felt not too useful myself....hahahaha.....pls do 4giv me though.....if i had ever done anytin wrong or offended any1!!
this will serve as a very good memory 4 me.....the bands were great....everytin ran quite smoothly.....the dance and all......just awesome..!!even afta all the events dat i hav been part of....none seem to be able to fill me as much as this does......i'm sure every1 of us,despite being overly-busy and slacking on studies due to the making of this event especially the committes,i'm sure every1 feels good about this event!!will be putting up pics on the event later when i receive them....plus my 1st time wearing formal+blazer....lolx....i feel so stupid....hahahaha......so wierdo.....but it's all a very good experience!!i feel myself more 'changed'!!in a beta way.....
kinda miss it leh......ended already....haha......feel so 'freeeeeee' but more bz now.....coz many many many assignments to do and studies to catch up.....finalz is coming soon.....i need to brush myself up and get ready......brace the future!!!Thx every1 for giving me sucha good experience!!and to my frens thx for coming to support us!!i hope u all really realllly enjoyed it!!!time to go back to monotonous dull study life.........aizzz........T.T~~
Monday, February 23, 2009
the power of dreams.....my passion.....!!
dreams....ever since i was young.....i had dreams....but as u noe...dreams were ever changing all the time depending on our own mood and interest at dat point of time....but....as i grow up i slowly noticed my passion.....which became my dream.....my dream dat could be my ambition as well.......my very desire to do.....dat thing 4 life perhaps......
as i woke up yesterday morning.....several....not so pleasurable things happened.....well....life's liek dat.....which prompted me to look 4 part-time jobs.....considering the situation i'm in now....but this oso helped me coincidentally to actually hav found a forum which tells me more about achieving my dream.....reading this forum....i actually feel dat my dream would become......a reality itself....i poured my attention 4 the next 3 hours scouring thru the posts previous ppl had posted.......
i fulfilled every requirement needed.....almost all,xept 4 swimming(dunno swim......)....all i needed was the chance to get interview and pass all its test to be accepted.....i'd be more den willing to try out 4 it.....put my heart my passion my soul unto it......just so dat i can fulfill this dream of mine.....i'm willing to stop halfway on my engineering to pursue this if given the chance.....but there's so many doubts.....soooo many.....till i begin to doubt myself.....was it possible....i thought....all this years.....will this just stay as a dream 4 me??i will pray....pray hard....4 this chance to be mine.....to finally grasp the sky wif my own 2 hands....to feel....the meaning of 'freedom'...........mmmmmm..........!!
n so i decided to package everytin well enough 4 a good 1st impression.....mending my common looking resume....trying to find ways to excite it in a good format.....i'm so excited.....dat afta reading all the post....i hav no need for waiting 4 the intake to open....but just go n send ahead 1st 4 the interview and test....n possibly den if i pass i can wait till the next intake to enter.....i'm really praying dat this might actually work out.....n dat i can actually pass dat awfully hard test(or presumably so)...my dream cannot be taken down just liek this!!!bless me oh Lord~~!!!
MAS or Air Asia.....only 2 possibilities 4 me to apply.....as SQ only takes in their 'home' citizens....hmmm...actually air steward oso not bad geh if cannot be pilot....but air steward's job is so hectic....'service' kononnya.....i can c unappreciative and tak munasabah faces of the 'clients/customers' already.....sumtimes outrageously obnoxious!!air steward/stewardess are oso humans pls!!!dun make things hard 4 every1!!.....=.=""""".......humans ain't born perfect@@!!hopefully......pray dat i may succeed!!!my dream to fly!!!!!vrrrrroooooommmmm!!!!!seronoknya.....:P
2day is dreams day.....because as i was looking 4 part-time jobs.....i found something interesting.....hehe....atasteboutique.com as they call themselves.....they have liek so many creations of cakes!!so lovely!!nyaamm nyaamm~~!!!i have alwayz thought of becoming a pastry chef too!!!because i love to eat sweet things and c pretty things!!though i ain't good at art itself.....but i appreciate the beauty of pretty artworks!!just makes ur mouth drool and ur heart melts!!!but i din noe where to start.....and my parents wouldn't allow such things to happen....lolx....i guess...it's only possible to become my hobby baking sweet things liek cookies and cakes....T.T......try out atasteboutique.com....it's got many lovely designs on cakes.....gosh...i wanna work there int he kitchen....hehehe.......makes me wanna bake cookies already....gonna try out something this weekend......sumtin cheap....yet tasty!!!cooking n baking^^my favzz!!!
i personally love this!! coz it's pinkish and pretty(cute too!!)!!!:P
(www.atasteboutique.com)
engineering is so so not fitting 4 me....aizz...but the only choice 4 me....with/without interest.....i can only continue wif so lil passion....still amazed at how i can actually continue in a state liek this......but den.....so many years liao....gradually becoming better...lolx....mebe used to it d....study study oni loh.....aizz....helps me in applying for a CPL(Commercial Pilot License) coruse too...:P....helps me get a place easier without a big shot recommendation.....awww....but thiknig bout the debts i'm gonna hav to bear afta grad....oso dunno how...mebe work 1 year or so 1st....and 25 go apply....coz 26 is age limit.....T.T......so olllllddddd.................need save money d now.....jobs pls gimmeee......gimme jobsss pls......money and cash beta.....:P....let everytin go well plsss!!!!
songss!!-been listening much to instrumentals this day....OST from FF and hanazakiri kimi no tachi e!!it's been good....and found some rather good singers....but forgot the names and i'm not at my laptop now....writing from cendi...lolx.....anyway will post some up...soon....if i feel liek it....thx 4 reading newayz....:P
just end wif a simple prayer......
Lord help us in our ways...for we alone cannot bear to take our path by ourselves...less we make mistakes more and more till they becomes....unbearable.....guide us each day as we go along....in decisions we can't make or can make, guide us still and lead us to the path dat has been set right by You.Let us not falter to temptations or any wickedness and strengthen us to guard all evil....i pray for every1 dat they may all be bless abundantly according to Your will....Bless us all wif good health....Bless us all in everytin we do dat we do it right in Your eyes....Pray dat everytin goes well 4 me and every1 too.....Forgive us all 4 our wrongdoings and set us right from wrong.....Pray and thank you Lord.....In Jesus name....Amen!!
as i woke up yesterday morning.....several....not so pleasurable things happened.....well....life's liek dat.....which prompted me to look 4 part-time jobs.....considering the situation i'm in now....but this oso helped me coincidentally to actually hav found a forum which tells me more about achieving my dream.....reading this forum....i actually feel dat my dream would become......a reality itself....i poured my attention 4 the next 3 hours scouring thru the posts previous ppl had posted.......
i fulfilled every requirement needed.....almost all,xept 4 swimming(dunno swim......)....all i needed was the chance to get interview and pass all its test to be accepted.....i'd be more den willing to try out 4 it.....put my heart my passion my soul unto it......just so dat i can fulfill this dream of mine.....i'm willing to stop halfway on my engineering to pursue this if given the chance.....but there's so many doubts.....soooo many.....till i begin to doubt myself.....was it possible....i thought....all this years.....will this just stay as a dream 4 me??i will pray....pray hard....4 this chance to be mine.....to finally grasp the sky wif my own 2 hands....to feel....the meaning of 'freedom'...........mmmmmm..........!!
n so i decided to package everytin well enough 4 a good 1st impression.....mending my common looking resume....trying to find ways to excite it in a good format.....i'm so excited.....dat afta reading all the post....i hav no need for waiting 4 the intake to open....but just go n send ahead 1st 4 the interview and test....n possibly den if i pass i can wait till the next intake to enter.....i'm really praying dat this might actually work out.....n dat i can actually pass dat awfully hard test(or presumably so)...my dream cannot be taken down just liek this!!!bless me oh Lord~~!!!
MAS or Air Asia.....only 2 possibilities 4 me to apply.....as SQ only takes in their 'home' citizens....hmmm...actually air steward oso not bad geh if cannot be pilot....but air steward's job is so hectic....'service' kononnya.....i can c unappreciative and tak munasabah faces of the 'clients/customers' already.....sumtimes outrageously obnoxious!!air steward/stewardess are oso humans pls!!!dun make things hard 4 every1!!.....=.=""""".......humans ain't born perfect@@!!hopefully......pray dat i may succeed!!!my dream to fly!!!!!vrrrrroooooommmmm!!!!!seronoknya.....:P
2day is dreams day.....because as i was looking 4 part-time jobs.....i found something interesting.....hehe....atasteboutique.com as they call themselves.....they have liek so many creations of cakes!!so lovely!!nyaamm nyaamm~~!!!i have alwayz thought of becoming a pastry chef too!!!because i love to eat sweet things and c pretty things!!though i ain't good at art itself.....but i appreciate the beauty of pretty artworks!!just makes ur mouth drool and ur heart melts!!!but i din noe where to start.....and my parents wouldn't allow such things to happen....lolx....i guess...it's only possible to become my hobby baking sweet things liek cookies and cakes....T.T......try out atasteboutique.com....it's got many lovely designs on cakes.....gosh...i wanna work there int he kitchen....hehehe.......makes me wanna bake cookies already....gonna try out something this weekend......sumtin cheap....yet tasty!!!cooking n baking^^my favzz!!!
i personally love this!! coz it's pinkish and pretty(cute too!!)!!!:P
(www.atasteboutique.com)
engineering is so so not fitting 4 me....aizz...but the only choice 4 me....with/without interest.....i can only continue wif so lil passion....still amazed at how i can actually continue in a state liek this......but den.....so many years liao....gradually becoming better...lolx....mebe used to it d....study study oni loh.....aizz....helps me in applying for a CPL(Commercial Pilot License) coruse too...:P....helps me get a place easier without a big shot recommendation.....awww....but thiknig bout the debts i'm gonna hav to bear afta grad....oso dunno how...mebe work 1 year or so 1st....and 25 go apply....coz 26 is age limit.....T.T......so olllllddddd.................need save money d now.....jobs pls gimmeee......gimme jobsss pls......money and cash beta.....:P....let everytin go well plsss!!!!
songss!!-been listening much to instrumentals this day....OST from FF and hanazakiri kimi no tachi e!!it's been good....and found some rather good singers....but forgot the names and i'm not at my laptop now....writing from cendi...lolx.....anyway will post some up...soon....if i feel liek it....thx 4 reading newayz....:P
just end wif a simple prayer......
Lord help us in our ways...for we alone cannot bear to take our path by ourselves...less we make mistakes more and more till they becomes....unbearable.....guide us each day as we go along....in decisions we can't make or can make, guide us still and lead us to the path dat has been set right by You.Let us not falter to temptations or any wickedness and strengthen us to guard all evil....i pray for every1 dat they may all be bless abundantly according to Your will....Bless us all wif good health....Bless us all in everytin we do dat we do it right in Your eyes....Pray dat everytin goes well 4 me and every1 too.....Forgive us all 4 our wrongdoings and set us right from wrong.....Pray and thank you Lord.....In Jesus name....Amen!!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
gathering!!
oh finally....after so many weeks serene has been in malaysia,only now we get to gather....though oni a total of 6 ppl gathered and 1 unknown to me....still it's good...haha...mebe having little ppl is beta oso...no need so....cramp i guess....lolx...
reached mun's hse at around 11 sumtin....poor amanda who's still waiting 4 mun to fetch her who happened to be waiting 4 us to reach his hse 1st...lolx.....omg...mun's dog is so cute...hahaha....the 1st thing i did was play wif his dog...hahaha....seriously damn cute weh....but alwayz keep bite n lick....mun can i borrow ur dog 4 a week????pretty pls??lolx...not much to do at 1st....coz still waiting 4 every1 to gather...so meanwhile me n jason prepared the snacks dat r about to be deep-fried later....can't believe he bought alphabetic nuggets...lolx....feel like small kidz only later when eat...haha....n den all the small details......blaa blaa....
ta-da!!amanda has reached!!lolx..n begins our small lil gathering wif chicken wings...alphabetic nuggets....kacang....wasabi peas and a bottle of chivas and red wine...!!ok...i dun really drink/like alcholic drinks...but den just to follow suit i had a lil only leh....so i was sober all the time....otherwise i'd miss the drunkard dramas of the night...lolx...oh we played poker too!using mahjong chips....1 chip is 50 sens...nice game....i got win!!fun fun...getting to bluff them even though i hav not exactly good cards...haha got 1 game i got notin at all...but i still win!...coz every1 fold...hahahaha......but poor me.....i get whacked by every1 on the thigh.....it's liek i can c hand prints on them....i'm sorry serene....4 putting my hand prints on urs....even leh...:P
by 5am most of them was drunk already......especially amanda....who started tokin funny already...she was tokin wierd....real wierd....haha damn farnee la....n neither she nor serene could walk properly.....serene bad r......do sum bad bad things...haha....but pray u may be forgiven....hahaha....by 6 am we're suppose to leave already....supposedly fetching serene back b4 her parents wake up as she's headed to church....but amanda kept wanting to play turtle....n when no 1 was able to bother her...she just kept saying play play play turtle....if not dun wan go back....lolx....1st time c she drunk till liek dat...
the 1st time din sleep 1 bit at all the whole night...lolx....okla...once a while is quite fun geh...hang around wif frens n all....lolx...n oso the 1st time no call to me on my phone....i guess 1st time is great at times eh.....sumore go eat dim sum at 8 sumtin.....but not nice de....aiz....i guess dat's about it leh.....serene wait u come back at the end of the year again den we gather lagi....we wun tell nick bout it...:P
i guess dat's bout it all....2molo going out wif jon they all.....rarely get to hang out leh....looking 4ward to it....some time off my so sien life.......aizz...hav to start studying d......din do anytin this 2 dayz except play.....cham cham......pray pray!!n my language bar is sumtin wrong...can't type jap.....sien....hungry....but fat...sobz....this post so random.....but dunno wat to write...life is so sien.....aizz......go eat....
reached mun's hse at around 11 sumtin....poor amanda who's still waiting 4 mun to fetch her who happened to be waiting 4 us to reach his hse 1st...lolx.....omg...mun's dog is so cute...hahaha....the 1st thing i did was play wif his dog...hahaha....seriously damn cute weh....but alwayz keep bite n lick....mun can i borrow ur dog 4 a week????pretty pls??lolx...not much to do at 1st....coz still waiting 4 every1 to gather...so meanwhile me n jason prepared the snacks dat r about to be deep-fried later....can't believe he bought alphabetic nuggets...lolx....feel like small kidz only later when eat...haha....n den all the small details......blaa blaa....
ta-da!!amanda has reached!!lolx..n begins our small lil gathering wif chicken wings...alphabetic nuggets....kacang....wasabi peas and a bottle of chivas and red wine...!!ok...i dun really drink/like alcholic drinks...but den just to follow suit i had a lil only leh....so i was sober all the time....otherwise i'd miss the drunkard dramas of the night...lolx...oh we played poker too!using mahjong chips....1 chip is 50 sens...nice game....i got win!!fun fun...getting to bluff them even though i hav not exactly good cards...haha got 1 game i got notin at all...but i still win!...coz every1 fold...hahahaha......but poor me.....i get whacked by every1 on the thigh.....it's liek i can c hand prints on them....i'm sorry serene....4 putting my hand prints on urs....even leh...:P
by 5am most of them was drunk already......especially amanda....who started tokin funny already...she was tokin wierd....real wierd....haha damn farnee la....n neither she nor serene could walk properly.....serene bad r......do sum bad bad things...haha....but pray u may be forgiven....hahaha....by 6 am we're suppose to leave already....supposedly fetching serene back b4 her parents wake up as she's headed to church....but amanda kept wanting to play turtle....n when no 1 was able to bother her...she just kept saying play play play turtle....if not dun wan go back....lolx....1st time c she drunk till liek dat...
the 1st time din sleep 1 bit at all the whole night...lolx....okla...once a while is quite fun geh...hang around wif frens n all....lolx...n oso the 1st time no call to me on my phone....i guess 1st time is great at times eh.....sumore go eat dim sum at 8 sumtin.....but not nice de....aiz....i guess dat's about it leh.....serene wait u come back at the end of the year again den we gather lagi....we wun tell nick bout it...:P
i guess dat's bout it all....2molo going out wif jon they all.....rarely get to hang out leh....looking 4ward to it....some time off my so sien life.......aizz...hav to start studying d......din do anytin this 2 dayz except play.....cham cham......pray pray!!n my language bar is sumtin wrong...can't type jap.....sien....hungry....but fat...sobz....this post so random.....but dunno wat to write...life is so sien.....aizz......go eat....
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Home Swe... home?<---きらい きらい
home....a topic i'm sure 99% wat most ppl could actually write many good things about....home sweet home some may define and some other perhaps lovey dovey home???and as the chinese new year holidayz draws near....home....is so much nearer.....for many.....
on monday....i was feeling not so well in the morning as i woke up....but still i thought it was liek normal and wasn't too much a problem.....and i went to liang wen there in the afternoon to take a quick nap but den was not able too....and nite came....after takin Jr's nasi goreng cina in coe....i couldn't even finish it(considering how i treat food)...becoz the food was problematic....it made my condition worst.....as the meeting went on...it worsen....i was drowsy and all cold and hot at the same time....din noe i was having fever already....at about 10 i really felt liek i could faint anytime....so quickly after the meeting i headed home....praying dat i'm kept safe by His hands as i drove home....
Thankfully i reached home b4 i actually felt liek collapsing....i put my hands on my forehead...n i realised it is actually.....burning.....it was already close to 11.....but i needed to shower....yet my sister who took her time slowly in the bathroom didn't care....so i just quickly did wat i agreed wif yee siong afta meeting 4 the booth things....and i'm so sorry i couldn't do better....i had only an ounce of strength left in me....as i showered and stroke my body....it felt as if i was peeling my skin off and it hurts....and i could barely stand as i find myself on the wall....as i came out of the shower....i needed to take a towel from my parent's room but they were air-conditioned soooo cold....and since i was still soggy from after-shower...i asked my sister to get the towel for me.....and here the story begins......
wat she told me??"I'm not free now....i'm busy...go take urself...."wat was she doing??doin her pathethic nonsense in front of her laptop.....she couldn't afford to take a few steps out of her room to help me get the towel...and so i forced my pitiful self to take it.....could u feel how dissapointed i was??it wasn't the 1st time in anytin.....as i thought to myself.....once she herself had fallen into a fever last year...and my parents went to sleep....askin me to check on her b4 i sleep....despite having disagreements many a times wif her....dude she was sick....i tot this is wat a brother should do....i changed her towel and check if she was ok....b4 i went to sleep....i made sure she had water beside her table if she woke up and needed to drink....and even just last week....when they were all asleep and the elctricity tripped a while in the middle of 2 am sumtin.......i took the courtesy to go and restore their air-cond...so their sleep may not be disturbed......n here's wat.....
AM I SOHAI????!!!!!MEBE BLOODY FUCKING CIBAI SOHAI??????y the fuck do i have to do this....hey!i took care of my high fever on my own....i slept at 4am peacefully...while changing the towels myself....i din ask no 1 to help me....nah!not liek any1 cared....i din even complain.....i stuck resting in my room the whole tuesday and my father tot i was playin the whole day!....even while writing this my head's spinning liek crazy!!!who would come n ask how the hell r u???n as i realized how sohai i am....truly!!if u sum up the pain in my head my body my insides!!it wouldn't even amount to the pain in my heart.....i'm so freaking disappointed.......FUCKING disappointed.......is this wat i am??a piece of shit??dat when u wan wat u wan u come n ask me and i shall provide it to u everytime??ur homeworks??drive u to ur frens hse??drive u outside to buy things???things liek dat?!and when i ask u 4 sumtin u'd gimme the bloody response "wait la....not free....bzzz???"!!and u urself would giv others the bloody black face when u get replied in dat way??!!oh sure...den u'll just say "hell i did".....humans behaviour at its best....DENIAL......
but den again....i'm the black sheep of the family...it's only logical dat things liek this happens....afta all..i'm just a failure ain't i??yeah....this is wat the world has labeled i am.....despite how disappointed i felt.....i did not shed a tear despite being a chou-do emotional person....coz none of ur damned selves deserved any......i told myself....this is prove of wat i am.....for this...i shalt only work 4 myself....all 4 myself.....putting myself in this misery......for as long as am needed....till i find wings...to free myself....since it is such.....i can only pray...dat myself be forgiven....for i hav and will go against the commandments for doing this...but i can take it no longer....no matter wat i do.....it'd be me at fault and it'd be me dat's wrong.....but i care no longer.....in fact i actually hoped i'd died sumhow or rather....but den again....wif dat thought and dead....i'd end up in hell...not sumtin worth trading becoz of them eh??
i'm so sorry.....i'm being so vulgar...but i dun really care no more....if u show me shit i will fuck u....if u show me good i will be good to u....coz i dun giv no shit anymore....not to any1......i'm tired of being treated liek an asshole....i hav temper as well....dun test me....
well to those not concern,i'm sorry for having u read such a -not me- kind of post.....thx for actually reading it....coz in the end...u might hav cared even if it's just a lil....dun worry i'm still a good person.....peace and God Bless to ya all.....just dat now.....home<->family,lies no meaning within me......
P/S:Appreciate wat ya'll ppl hav....sorry again for such a post....it has relieved me....
Wat's my raison d'etre??-1)God is ultimately my raison detre......even if i shall fail him.....
And hav a blessed happy Chinese New Year!!!!
on monday....i was feeling not so well in the morning as i woke up....but still i thought it was liek normal and wasn't too much a problem.....and i went to liang wen there in the afternoon to take a quick nap but den was not able too....and nite came....after takin Jr's nasi goreng cina in coe....i couldn't even finish it(considering how i treat food)...becoz the food was problematic....it made my condition worst.....as the meeting went on...it worsen....i was drowsy and all cold and hot at the same time....din noe i was having fever already....at about 10 i really felt liek i could faint anytime....so quickly after the meeting i headed home....praying dat i'm kept safe by His hands as i drove home....
Thankfully i reached home b4 i actually felt liek collapsing....i put my hands on my forehead...n i realised it is actually.....burning.....it was already close to 11.....but i needed to shower....yet my sister who took her time slowly in the bathroom didn't care....so i just quickly did wat i agreed wif yee siong afta meeting 4 the booth things....and i'm so sorry i couldn't do better....i had only an ounce of strength left in me....as i showered and stroke my body....it felt as if i was peeling my skin off and it hurts....and i could barely stand as i find myself on the wall....as i came out of the shower....i needed to take a towel from my parent's room but they were air-conditioned soooo cold....and since i was still soggy from after-shower...i asked my sister to get the towel for me.....and here the story begins......
wat she told me??"I'm not free now....i'm busy...go take urself...."wat was she doing??doin her pathethic nonsense in front of her laptop.....she couldn't afford to take a few steps out of her room to help me get the towel...and so i forced my pitiful self to take it.....could u feel how dissapointed i was??it wasn't the 1st time in anytin.....as i thought to myself.....once she herself had fallen into a fever last year...and my parents went to sleep....askin me to check on her b4 i sleep....despite having disagreements many a times wif her....dude she was sick....i tot this is wat a brother should do....i changed her towel and check if she was ok....b4 i went to sleep....i made sure she had water beside her table if she woke up and needed to drink....and even just last week....when they were all asleep and the elctricity tripped a while in the middle of 2 am sumtin.......i took the courtesy to go and restore their air-cond...so their sleep may not be disturbed......n here's wat.....
AM I SOHAI????!!!!!MEBE BLOODY FUCKING CIBAI SOHAI??????y the fuck do i have to do this....hey!i took care of my high fever on my own....i slept at 4am peacefully...while changing the towels myself....i din ask no 1 to help me....nah!not liek any1 cared....i din even complain.....i stuck resting in my room the whole tuesday and my father tot i was playin the whole day!....even while writing this my head's spinning liek crazy!!!who would come n ask how the hell r u???n as i realized how sohai i am....truly!!if u sum up the pain in my head my body my insides!!it wouldn't even amount to the pain in my heart.....i'm so freaking disappointed.......FUCKING disappointed.......is this wat i am??a piece of shit??dat when u wan wat u wan u come n ask me and i shall provide it to u everytime??ur homeworks??drive u to ur frens hse??drive u outside to buy things???things liek dat?!and when i ask u 4 sumtin u'd gimme the bloody response "wait la....not free....bzzz???"!!and u urself would giv others the bloody black face when u get replied in dat way??!!oh sure...den u'll just say "hell i did".....humans behaviour at its best....DENIAL......
but den again....i'm the black sheep of the family...it's only logical dat things liek this happens....afta all..i'm just a failure ain't i??yeah....this is wat the world has labeled i am.....despite how disappointed i felt.....i did not shed a tear despite being a chou-do emotional person....coz none of ur damned selves deserved any......i told myself....this is prove of wat i am.....for this...i shalt only work 4 myself....all 4 myself.....putting myself in this misery......for as long as am needed....till i find wings...to free myself....since it is such.....i can only pray...dat myself be forgiven....for i hav and will go against the commandments for doing this...but i can take it no longer....no matter wat i do.....it'd be me at fault and it'd be me dat's wrong.....but i care no longer.....in fact i actually hoped i'd died sumhow or rather....but den again....wif dat thought and dead....i'd end up in hell...not sumtin worth trading becoz of them eh??
i'm so sorry.....i'm being so vulgar...but i dun really care no more....if u show me shit i will fuck u....if u show me good i will be good to u....coz i dun giv no shit anymore....not to any1......i'm tired of being treated liek an asshole....i hav temper as well....dun test me....
well to those not concern,i'm sorry for having u read such a -not me- kind of post.....thx for actually reading it....coz in the end...u might hav cared even if it's just a lil....dun worry i'm still a good person.....peace and God Bless to ya all.....just dat now.....home<->family,lies no meaning within me......
P/S:Appreciate wat ya'll ppl hav....sorry again for such a post....it has relieved me....
Wat's my raison d'etre??-1)God is ultimately my raison detre......even if i shall fail him.....
And hav a blessed happy Chinese New Year!!!!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
2009
2009......
~~~~~~
1)Praying dat i can be more diligent.....more faithful to Him....
2)Praying dat sumhow my interest in the world will stop decreasing.....as in life itself.....
3)Praying dat sumhow....sumhow....i'll manage thru my life......
4)Ignoring all sorts of disappointment life brings in.....
5)Praying dat everything goes well in just about everytin for every1......
6)Praying perhaps.....this year will be the year my plans r successfully executed.....
7)Praying for a consistent good health.....for every1 in need.....and 4 my so young yet so old body......
8)Praying dat there'll be more beautiful songs ahead of this year......
9)Praying for my dearest frens who means much to me and to be able to giv a lil more time meeting up.....
10)Praying dat sumhow....the economy would not go too bad till it affects too much......
~~~~~~
わたし の ねがい
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ もう はずれ ならない
~ わたし の そんざい の いみ で さがしてる ほしい
~ もっと にほんご に ｊｉｂｕｎ‐お べんきょう しましょう
~ かみ‐さま に もっと ちかく なりたい んだ
~ もっと すごく の ｊｉｂｕｎ ｊｉｓｈｉｎ です
~ もっと つかえる の 任ぎぇん に なりたい んだ
~ もっと めでたし
~ こうかてき の ひと で なりたい！！
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
1)Praying dat i can be more diligent.....more faithful to Him....
2)Praying dat sumhow my interest in the world will stop decreasing.....as in life itself.....
3)Praying dat sumhow....sumhow....i'll manage thru my life......
4)Ignoring all sorts of disappointment life brings in.....
5)Praying dat everything goes well in just about everytin for every1......
6)Praying perhaps.....this year will be the year my plans r successfully executed.....
7)Praying for a consistent good health.....for every1 in need.....and 4 my so young yet so old body......
8)Praying dat there'll be more beautiful songs ahead of this year......
9)Praying for my dearest frens who means much to me and to be able to giv a lil more time meeting up.....
10)Praying dat sumhow....the economy would not go too bad till it affects too much......
~~~~~~
わたし の ねがい
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ もう はずれ ならない
~ わたし の そんざい の いみ で さがしてる ほしい
~ もっと にほんご に ｊｉｂｕｎ‐お べんきょう しましょう
~ かみ‐さま に もっと ちかく なりたい んだ
~ もっと すごく の ｊｉｂｕｎ ｊｉｓｈｉｎ です
~ もっと つかえる の 任ぎぇん に なりたい んだ
~ もっと めでたし
~ こうかてき の ひと で なりたい！！
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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